Lazlow: the Lost Episodes
by Mr. Zach
Summary: The lost episodes of Lazlow. Formerly Entertaing America the lost episodes
1. Day 1

1

**Entertaining America**

week 1

Hello this is Entertaining America with me Lazlow. Today our guest is Mike Toreno, he is a CIA agent from here in San Andreas. Mike, Welcome

Toreno: Hello civilian.

Lazlow: Now tell me what do you do for the cia.

T:Cant tell you that.

L:Why not.

T: because its top secret.

L:Is there such thing as area 51?

T: ugh..

L:Is it in Bone County?

T:Yeah, I mean no!

L:Does Anyone have a question for Mr. Toreno?

L:Yeah caller your on Entertaining America

Caller:How many people have you shot?

T:100,000

T:Ah shit, not supposed to say that

L:Is there anything your supposed to say?

T:Yeah, who is an ass? You

L:Ah hell no

T:Shut up before you get a probe up your ass.

L:Get out of here Toreno. We have time for one more guess so Officer Tenpenny, welcome

Tp. I faked being dead

L:So where are you from?

Tp. Ganton, my best friend Carl Johnson became a gangster and I became a cop.

L:May I ask why you are always mean to Carl.

Tp. The Ballas wanted me to. I got the Ballas to kill Carl's mom and brother. I wanted them to get his other brother but he lived.

L: Why

Tp. The Ballas said so.

L: I hate the Ballas I try to drive in East Los Santos and they always shoot my low rider with aks

Tp. And do you like Grove Street

L:Yeah they give me money to let them be callers on this show. Does anyone want to talk with Officer Tenpenny? Hello caller you are on Entertaining America.

Caller: Yeah Tenpenny I will kill you again

Tp .Man, who is this

Caller: Sweet Johnson

Tp. I got you in jail sucker.

Caller: Ha Ha, C.J. killed Palaski.

L: Okay that was Tenpenny. See you losers tomorrow.


	2. Day 2

Entertaining America Day 2

Lazlow: This is Entertaining America, today we have three guests and one is a speaker about poor people. Mike Andrews welcome.

Mike: Poor people stop complaining.

L: You know all of those people in Ganton and Idlewood are pissed when they turn on Radio Los Santos and here you making fun of them.

M: We rich do a lot more than they do, and our cars do not pollute the air.

L: Your kidding me right?

M: And we do everything important like CEOs and doctors and actors. What are they? Burger Shot workers or hookers and even losers like you.

L: Okay is there any callers fir Mike Andrews

Caller: Diss my people one more time and I will bust a cap in yo ass foo.

M: You really think you can do something to me? I live in Mulholland in a MANSION. I get woken up by my maids get breakfast in bed, out on my Didier Sachs suit. Then I drive to Los Santos Convention Center. If a ghetto idiot ever comes into my mansion or the convention center you will be arrested.

C: i do not even live in Los Santos, I live in a cabin on Arco del Oeste near the Sherman Dam.

L: Mike you are an idiot get out of here now.

M: I do not take orders from poor people.

L: you will from Mr. Desert Eagle.

M: DON'T SHOOT ME AHHH.

L: OUT OF HERE NOW.

M: Yes father.

L: Okay our next two guest our on the show I say you say. Peyton and Mary Phillips. Who picks out these guest.

Mary Phillips: Stupid liberal...

Peyton Phillips: Where on the air mary.

MP: I know.

L: May I ask why you two are married but both of you hate each other?

MP: because

P: Because the slept with: the producer, Marvin Trill, Richard Burns, Derrick Thackery, James Pedeaston, Maurice, Fernando, Woozie, The Truth, Tommy Nightmare Smith, Julio G, Philip Micheals, Ken Rosenberg, Kent Paul, Tommy Vercetti, Jethro, Dwayne, C.J., Sweet, Maccer, Joey and Salvatore Leone, Tony Cipriani, Luigi Gotteri, Toreno, Zero, a guy named Fido, and Lazlow here.

L: This is funny.

MP: Do not count the one with Zero, because I hated it.

P and L: Well why did you do it?

MP: I felt bad for him.

L: The phone lines are FULL, seems like everyone you mentioned is pissed at your wife.

P: she deserved it.

MP: I hate both of you.

P: I put rat poison on your breakfast.

MP: I am going to kill you.

P: Not before I kill you, Lazlow can I borrow your gun?

L: Sure, its loaded.

P: Okay, Boom.

L: You got her blood all over my suit.

P: Were going to have to get out of here.

L: I see a bus going to Liberty City lets go.


	3. Day 3

1

Lazlow: This is chatterbox, we have a special guest today, he is the Transportation Director for Liberty City. His name is O Donovan, O Donovan, Welcome.

O Donovan: Hello, Everyone

L: So tell me, how are you trying to improve Liberty City?

OD: For starters, I was the one who brought up the plans to build the Callahan Bridge, to connect Portland and Staunton Island. Right now I am trying to pass a plan to build a tunnel between all three boroughs.

L: Do you know when the bridge will be completed?

OD: May 1998

L: The tunnel?

OD: If it is passed, then the fall of 2001

L: Its caller time! Oh! Look, a caller on line 4.

Caller: Building a tunnel? WHERE?

OD: (sigh) Portland and Staunton ferry ports.

Caller: I am the head of the Portland Dockworkers Union, if you build a tunnel, we will go on strike.

OD: So

Caller: So, also the lift bridge workers, will go on strike.

L: Thanks caller.

OD: The tunnel will make the city prosperous.

L: Why has there been such a population boom lately? For example, a new stadium is being built and new apartments in Portland.

OD: The city is bringing in new business.

L: Another thing, why is there a rise in gang crime?

OD: Its simple, with new business comes new crime. For example, there is a new Hispanic gang in Portland is trying to take the Mafia's land in northern Red Light District.

L: Are you running for mayor in 2000?

OD: Of course.

L: That was O Donovan, any callers before we wrap up today? Caller, your on Chatterbox.

Caller2: I would like to welcome home my friend, Mr. Cipriani.

L: That's cool. That's all the time we have today, tune in later


End file.
